Where are you going?

I'll be honest I struggle with setting goals, and therefore struggle with meeting them. I think for me personally, I sometimes try to bite of more than I can chew and end up trying without doing. Which is why I think over the past couple of months, we've just started "doing" things without necessarily an end goal in mind. One of the great cop-outs, er I mean benefits, of doing that is it's kind of like "trying" right? I mean if you don't really have an established goal, then you can never fail.....however can you really succeed?

My day job is working for a large Fortune 500 company that has a "pay for performance" plan for salary increases - much to the dismay of many of the new leaders within the company.  Employees set goals, or commitments, work towards those commitments throughout the year and then measured against the benchmark that they set in the end to determine their salary increase.  It's a similar plan across many businesses. 

One thing that I have seen my team members struggle with is setting SMART goals, and quite honestly this is one of the main areas where I struggle in setting personal goals.  I want to skip right over the moon and stars and go straight to another galaxy.  But that is the thing about setting SMART goals, when thought about and done correctly this technique doesn't allow you to skip the stars and you don't give up flying to the moon.

So what are SMART goals? 

S – Specific (or Significant).
M – Measurable (or Meaningful)
A – Attainable (or Action-Oriented)
R – Relevant (or Rewarding)
T – Time-bound (or Trackable)

So to say that my goal for my family is to eat healthier in 2014....if you look at it that is not really a goal - it's a lifestyle change, my dream or an end result.  The goal is the steps along the way to get there. 

So my goal might be "I will read food labels for each pre-packaged item that I bring into my home, every time I go shopping in 2014 to ensure that it is a healthy choice for my family."

Is it specific? Pretty daggone if you ask me :)
Is it measurable?  Every time I go shopping for each item - yep.
Is it attainable?  It might be a little big at first if I eat a lot of packaged items, and this is where it could be broken down to smaller goals may be helpful.
Is it relevant?  This is something I'm becoming very passionate and educated on so yes, very relevant to me!
Is it time-bound? Every time I go shopping in 2014 - check!

The other part of goal setting that I struggle with personally, (anyone else out there - come on I can't be by myself on this one) is sharing my goal so that others can help me along the way (and hold me accountable).  I guess, I almost feel like if I keep it to myself, once again no one can know if I fail (gee, can you see a reoccurring theme of fear of failure here?).  But any good support system will cheer you on in your goal when it is one to make you or the world around you better (I mean, I would really have to question your support system if your goal was to rob so many banks, or fart so many times a day - this should be the time they should step up and lovingly remind you that those are SMART goals - in any way, shape or form).

Some of my personal goals for 2014 (so you aren't getting the specific version - sorry that's reserved for the ones who actually know all of my innermost secrets!):

*Establish and maintain a monthly household budget and review it weekly
*Work out for 20-30 minutes 2-3 times a week
*Read to my munchkins at least 4 nights a week
*Remove the toxic chemicals from my home and convert to greener products
*Eat 2 fruits a day (seems silly I know, but seeing as how I don't do it daily it probably should be a goal)
*Have 1 date night a month with my hubby (no one said we had to spend money - maybe I just cook for him at home while the kids spend the night elsewhere - that counts as a date right?)

There they are published - now you can hold me accountable or cheer me along, however you best motivate!

What are your goals?  Where are you going?  How do you plan to get there?

Not Just Another Birthday

Every year we are given a special day to reflect back on the years before and the years to come - our birthday.

Looking back over the years, there have been great ones.......and some I would prefer to forget.  But today has probably been the best so far and I am blessed to look back over the years and reflect on how lucky I have been with the life that I have been blessed with.

I don't remember a lot from my 8th (or many of my other younger birthdays) birthday except a very inexpensive present that one friend gave.  It was a handmade card with two dollar bills through out it at the appropriate places and it said "Two (with a bill here), Four (and another one here), Six (and another one here.... you get the picture right?), Eight (last one!), Who do we appreciate?  Amber!" 

To this day, I have never forgotten this card and have shared the importance of heartfelt gifts with my kids.  When Rose, my daughter who is in first grade, got upset one day because "nobody likes handmade cards Mom!" I told her of this one that I remembered all of this time.  Now, one of her and Bugs favorite things to do is to make cards for others - in fact, I just got mine for today!

Over the past year, we have been making changes in our home - one of which is being more involved in serving those and the world around us.  Regardless of how hard we may struggle at times, I am so fortunate to have a job, amazing children, a wonderful husband, a home, a family that is extremely supportive and involved - things that so many others don't have.  So today, to celebrate this day and all that have been given to me - we chose to spend time with loved ones and give back to others.

We got to spend this morning with Bodie's family, then celebrate at church (of which Bugs announced my birthday during children's moments to the ENTIRE church - followed by my age....I'm thinking he should not be allowed anywhere near a microphone any more!), and then the whole family helped load and pack boxes for Operation Christmas Child.  It was overwhelming to be able to give back to others one this day when I have been given so much. 

We will be spending time with friends and my family this evening to finish the day out.  Spending the day with the ones I love, reflecting on the years many blessings I have received, and giving to others to fill some one else's cup - it's not just another birthday - it's the best birthday ever!

"Now I know, I know
It's not just another birthday
'Cause I'm here, she's here
And look how far we've come
Since you've called me, saw me
Held me and freed me
Thank you, Lord, for another birthday
And we'll be fine
We'll be fine"

Doing not Trying....

Some one has come into my life in the past year from whom I am learning a lot of things.  We disagree at times but I am learning and continuing to speak my mind with them.

One of their pet peeves is to say "I'm trying" - the usually response is "Well, if you're trying your not doing."

As someone who has always been a person who would try anything - from difficult assignments, to new adventures, to different foods - I have realized how much I would say "I'm trying to" has become of my vocabulary.  And with that how much room it leaves me to be non-committal about something or give up before I start.

What do you mean, you ask?  (Cause I'll be honest when I was first told that trying was not doing - I was a little offended.  What do you mean I'm not trying?!  I'm trying my hardest....)  But think about it - how many times have you said "I'm trying to lose weight" or "I'm trying to budget better" or whatever?  Instead of committing to something and going full-on to meet that goal?

"I'm trying to" implies that there is wiggle room to come out of whatever activity if anything doesn't work out.  Previously I've been "trying" to lose weight for years with mediocre to no success, but in the past 3 months I decided "I am losing weight" and in making that commitment have lost about 15 pounds. 

So Bodie, my husband, and I are starting down a new venture in life - and we aren't trying - we are committed to doing it.  We are improving the health of our family, reducing our debt, helping others, making the world a better place - building our own living well for our lives.

I'm not giving myself that wiggle room any more - I'm doing not trying....how about you?