Following the Voice

So I felt like I was starting to lose myself.... do you know what that feels like?  I felt like I was starting to become someone that I didn't want to be and I was no longer passionate about what I did. I wanted to be doing something I loved, something that helped others, to teach, to be where I was called, but how was I supposed to do that?

I mean, I was living the American Dream right? I had a good paying job and that's all anyone is supposed to want, right?  Never mind that I dreaded going to work every day, that negativity crept in to even my simplest actions, and that I dreamed of being in the classroom working with students daily instead of behind my desk wasting away.

I began to feel a prod in the direction of teaching again last May when I thought about restarting in my teaching program.  On a whim, I emailed the director to see about summer enrollment (what pregnant woman on restricted duty with two kids wouldn't want to add grad student to that fun mix?), doubting that I could get in before the summer classes started.  Mind you they did start the following week I think!

Magically, it worked! And I was able to enroll and start classes again.

Next came lots of opportunities this fall and less prodding and more pushing in this direction.

Over Christmas break, my hubby and I did lots of praying and talking and discussing and crying and came to the decision that it was time to leave my "perfect" job and pursue where the Lord was leading me into teaching.

So with the new year, came a new outlook and journey in life and I have left my full-time semi-stable job to work, for free for now, in the classroom and go to school to learn, practice, and perfect my craft.

The sermon that Sunday was on Following the Voice and 1 Samuel 3:9 and how sometimes we don't always understand right away what the Lord is calling on us to do, but if we listen and we lean on his support and guidance we will hear the directions to follow.

*I know, I know, crazy lady right? I have to say 5-10 years ago, I probably would have said the same thing, however I have seen over and over again how God's hand has been there and guided different events in my life and I cannot say with any more conviction that I believe his hand is guiding this as well (~crazy~)*

Sooooo I turned in my resignation, and stepped out on a leap of faith.  Each and every day I trust that he is leading me where he wants me to be and that when the time comes it will be plain to see!

Girl Scout Cookie Time 2

Ok - we are in full Girl Scout Cookie mode right now as lamented here......

And while I am feeling a little soothed by the Cookie Sales Tracker and all of its Excel glory, my marketing background is itching to come out!

Now before everyone jumps all over me - this is Rose's business.  She is extremely involved in every step.  For instance, while I may have created the Cookie Sales Tracker she and her brother have logged 90% of the orders.

This morning at church, she patiently waited for a conversation to end in order to ask for business. She wanted me to go with her but I reminded her that this is her business not mine.  She went and she asked and she received another order.....then came bounding back to me with the biggest smile on her face and a sense of pride for a job well done.

I remind her that people are going to say no (something I hate to hear myself and struggle with the fear failure in my own business), but am there to support her when they do and help her move on to the next customer graciously.

So cookies will make their way to our town tomorrow for the first round of disbursement and Rose is at about 350 of her 900 box goal.  Sorting and separating and preparing for delivery have my Six Sigma skills tingling!  (#nerdalert!)  So in order to do so, I have tried to think of what the flow will look like (big believer in setting something up right from the beginning if possible!).

Step 1 - Using the second column of the Cookie Sales Tracker we've got the sales broken down into different groups - church, friends, mom's work, etc. so that we can easily group the cookies.

Step 2 - We've gotten bags donated from a friend's husband who is a local State Farm Agent - you might remember Ann Kelly from Recipes We Love, she coordinates our monthly cooking nights that are being revitalized from the dead.  Anyways, this will make for easy grouping of cookies sold since they are generally 2-4 boxes.

Step 3 - I've made a Girl Scout Cookie Thank You card to help keep up with names, varieties purchased, amount owed (or can write "Previous" in the amount field if already paid), and number to purchase more cookies at if desired!  I searched Pintrest for one that I didn't have to buy and came up empty handed when looking for everything I wanted so I just made my own!  I hope that it may help you as well!  My thoughts were to write the name of the customer up top, then the Troop number in the blank.  You can indicate varieties ordered and amount total in the spaces provided.  Rose will sign everyone one of these below the "Thank You-" and then included my phone number for additional orders in the space provided.

Step 4 - The cookies will be sorted, grouped and a Thank You Card placed with it for delivery!

Step 5 - Rose will call all customers to let them know cookies have arrived and to step up a time for delivery!

Step 6 - Cookies will be delivered!

Good luck Girl Scouts!  And may the cookies be ever in your flavor! #cookieboss

A year in review

It's been a while.......

And I have missed this terribly.  I have pictures and stacks and notes of ideas, that I just keep piling up for when I have time to write.  However, like everything finding the time and making it a priority is hard.

The past year, specifically the past 6 months have been a life-changing whirlwind.

We welcomed #3 to the family!  We didn't know what our bundle of joy would be until he made his arrival but he has brought so much to our lives already.  You would think he is the biggest and shiniest toy in the world the way that his sis and bub make over him - we are lucky that they care so much!

Shortly after Bray made his arrival, my husband, Bodie, decided we had not spent enough time in the hospital and headed there himself with a mild heart attack.  For those that know us personally, you know that my strapping, handsome, beast of a husband has a huge scar down his chest as a forever reminder of his previous heart complications.  This one, three weeks after our son was born, hit a little close to home.

So needless to say, we've been really looking at what matters in life, to God, and to us - and hopefully all of those things align.  

In our search to discern where we are called and where we are supposed to be we have been spending most of our time with our family, friends, and church.  Those are the things that matter to us most in life.

Recently, as in this past Friday, we have made other big changes in our lives as I have left my nice-paying, cushy, miserable, full-time job to pursue a lifetime of teaching others.  Crazy right?!  I have a whole nother post, Following the Voice, that is coming that will detail this a little more for you nosy folks but suffice it to say - a BIG change in our lives.  We will take prayers and good tidings and positive karma along the way!  Needless to say we are trying to follow the below philosophy... I think we are doing ok!

~Tangent~ (yes, I write like I think and speak - good luck keeping up!) So Rose has just wandered up wanting to work on our Ancestry (that's been a new venture that we've loved as well!) and asked what I was doing.  I explained I was writing to my blog that I hadn't written to in over a year.  She said - do you think anyone will read it?  I told her that there had been over 900 views last year without me even writing anything!  "Wow Mom!  You could write about your gardening, and cooking, and put recipes and everything!"  She is definitely my daughter.  

Attitudes and my own mutiny!

My daughter is six, let me start of by saying that first.  She has seen Miley's Wrecking Ball, although not that I wasn't happy about it, and has definitely started showing her developing attitude a lot more lately.   My grandmother has noticed it.  Rose and I have talked about it.  My neighbor and I were consoling ourselves this morning because we are seeing the same thing in both of our little girls - snarkiness, extreme sassiness (I'll be honest I'm okay with a little sassy and feel like it is my motherly duty to develop it correctly.  I'm always in awe of other women who are able to reply at the right time with just the right amount of sass and not come off snarky or naggy - I'm sooooooo not that woman!), whininess, moodiness and just plain attitude.

I asked Rose where she is learning to act like this (I'm not delusional, she's in public schools and I know that I can't protect her all of the time - but I do think that it is my job as a mother to continually open the lines of communication and redirect behaviors that are not appropriate) - her response was the older kids at school.  Not terribly surprised, about the answer I expected - monkey see, monkey do - right? 

And I completely understand that she is learning to develop her own personality, I just don't want it to be one that is so snarky. 

So I know that I can't control what she sees at school (okay, I guess I could spend all my time with her at school and monitor everything and everyone she interacts with.......but that might be a little crazy and I would never get any work done!), and we really try to monitor what she watches at home - so I'm left with what do I do?

Quite honestly, I don't think this is just a problem that we are experiencing in our house, or just across the street.  I think this is reflective of a bigger societal problem in how we still see women as a society and the impact it is having on our young girls. 

I came across this video that really hit home, Media views on Women in 2013.  I'm not that old (in comparing myself to a generation that had to walk to school for miles in the sleet and snow with only one pair of shoes for the whole year - you've heard that story right?) but I do remember when you didn't see ads for Viagra or tampons on TV and the Huxtables were the family that you wanted to go home to (I was watching the episode where Claire took Theo to Family Court in their living room for lying the other day, I hope I can be half the mother I think she was!).  The role models that young people looked up to generally remained true role models - not like Miley, Brittney, Lindsay, and Amanda have become.  I mean when Madonna first started singing and making videos those were risqué right (I only got to watch them by sneaking at friends house.....hmmmm probably how Rose saw Wrecking Ball, I guess)?  However she continued to push the envelope about bigger issues in society, not just focusing on herself.

I have to admit, I definitely wasn't as sensitive to all of this until I started watching my daughter reflect some of the behaviors she was witnessing - being worried about her body image (she thinks she needs to go on a diet to be beautiful and SHE'S SIX!!! For those that know me well, dieting is not a common word in our house - being healthy, yes, but not dieting!), wanting to wear make-up to be pretty (I've tried to tell her since she was born how pretty she is, inside and out, every single day of her life), all in addition to the attitude.

Soooo what the heck does a mother do?  Well, this one is waging my own personal mutiny against the way society is telling my daughter the way she should look, act, think and behave.  I'm committing to talking to her daily, letting her know that I'm here for her no matter what, monitoring what she is exposed, and reminding her of how blessed she is to be made in God's image.

Will you join me in my mutiny for our children??

Sharing the Love

Filling others cups...
 

Have you ever had to spend the holidays away from home?  And maybe not just away from home because you were visiting friends and family, but in a hospital or alone with no one around.  If you haven't, count your very many blessings because as we all sit down this Thanksgiving remember there are those who can't - for whatever reason.

Now this isn't a blog to make you feel bad about how blessed you have been - I don't believe in that crap.  But what it is about is our journey to try and (see "try" still slips into my vocabulary) make the world around us a little better place and how we are doing that.

Most Thanksgivings when we are home we will go and deliver meals with the local Meals On Wheels program.  We started doing this when Rose was a year old and it has been an excellent way to get out into our community - for her to see how fortunate we are. 

I will never forget a couple of years ago we delivered to an older man, who lived in a decent part of town (some of the homes we delivered to were missing floors, shacks, etc.).  He was so apologetic for getting his meal - see his wife was in a nursing home and he spent most of his time there with her and just didn't have the gumption to cook when he got home.  He said it wasn't that he couldn't afford to pay the meals, he just wanted some home cooking without having to sit by himself at a restaurant. 

See that's the thing that I love about Meals on Wheels and many of the other opportunities to support others.  There isn't a question of the why behind the need - they are just there to fill it - and I think that is how we are all called to treat others.

We weren't going to be home this Thanksgiving so we helped prepare a meal for a friend instead.  She and her family will be spending Thanksgiving and the day after, which happens to be her birthday, with her sister and brother-in-law at the cancer hospital while he fights for his life.  To keep his and the rest of the family's spirits up some of our friends have gotten together to provide them a little taste of the holiday.  I dropped my contribution - and some pretty plates to hopefully make the hospital room a little more homey - off at the organizer's home on the way out of town.

So this holiday as you are enjoying your time with loved ones - take a moment and remember those that may not be as fortunate.  And if you can take time to do something about it - even if it just make your smile a little brighter as you pass the gravy!

Happy Thanksgiving!