Monthly Cooking Night - MIA!

So it's been over a month since our last "cooking night" as my hubby calls it and I have to tell you I am missing it something awful!  We were supposed to get together last month and with Thanksgiving and prep it all got a little too crazy.  Then we were supposed to get together this Friday, however the Christmas parade has been rescheduled until then - so now we are pushed off until Jan. - boo.

What is our cooking night you might ask?  Check out my friend Kelly's blog at
Recipes We Love - Freezer Cooking with Friends #4 and as usual she does an amazing job laying it all out.

Short story is a group of us girls (okay my kids and hubby tag along for play dates with her child and hubby if I'm being honest) get together once a month and for about $50 pre-cook/prepare 8-12 different meals/sides/desserts to take back to our own homes.  It is usually enough food to last dinner wise (or sharing with others) for a good week or two. 

Now one of the best benefits for this working mom is the Martha Stewart amazing efforts of my friend Kelly who preps everything for us so that we can just come, cook, and enjoy!

Bodie was doubtful at first, but even he looks forward to our monthly girls night and has been asking when the next one is!  And when you have someone who double fists food like my munchkin does - it's a good thing to have a freezer full!

Attitudes and my own mutiny!

My daughter is six, let me start of by saying that first.  She has seen Miley's Wrecking Ball, although not that I wasn't happy about it, and has definitely started showing her developing attitude a lot more lately.   My grandmother has noticed it.  Rose and I have talked about it.  My neighbor and I were consoling ourselves this morning because we are seeing the same thing in both of our little girls - snarkiness, extreme sassiness (I'll be honest I'm okay with a little sassy and feel like it is my motherly duty to develop it correctly.  I'm always in awe of other women who are able to reply at the right time with just the right amount of sass and not come off snarky or naggy - I'm sooooooo not that woman!), whininess, moodiness and just plain attitude.

I asked Rose where she is learning to act like this (I'm not delusional, she's in public schools and I know that I can't protect her all of the time - but I do think that it is my job as a mother to continually open the lines of communication and redirect behaviors that are not appropriate) - her response was the older kids at school.  Not terribly surprised, about the answer I expected - monkey see, monkey do - right? 

And I completely understand that she is learning to develop her own personality, I just don't want it to be one that is so snarky. 

So I know that I can't control what she sees at school (okay, I guess I could spend all my time with her at school and monitor everything and everyone she interacts with.......but that might be a little crazy and I would never get any work done!), and we really try to monitor what she watches at home - so I'm left with what do I do?

Quite honestly, I don't think this is just a problem that we are experiencing in our house, or just across the street.  I think this is reflective of a bigger societal problem in how we still see women as a society and the impact it is having on our young girls. 

I came across this video that really hit home, Media views on Women in 2013.  I'm not that old (in comparing myself to a generation that had to walk to school for miles in the sleet and snow with only one pair of shoes for the whole year - you've heard that story right?) but I do remember when you didn't see ads for Viagra or tampons on TV and the Huxtables were the family that you wanted to go home to (I was watching the episode where Claire took Theo to Family Court in their living room for lying the other day, I hope I can be half the mother I think she was!).  The role models that young people looked up to generally remained true role models - not like Miley, Brittney, Lindsay, and Amanda have become.  I mean when Madonna first started singing and making videos those were risqué right (I only got to watch them by sneaking at friends house.....hmmmm probably how Rose saw Wrecking Ball, I guess)?  However she continued to push the envelope about bigger issues in society, not just focusing on herself.

I have to admit, I definitely wasn't as sensitive to all of this until I started watching my daughter reflect some of the behaviors she was witnessing - being worried about her body image (she thinks she needs to go on a diet to be beautiful and SHE'S SIX!!! For those that know me well, dieting is not a common word in our house - being healthy, yes, but not dieting!), wanting to wear make-up to be pretty (I've tried to tell her since she was born how pretty she is, inside and out, every single day of her life), all in addition to the attitude.

Soooo what the heck does a mother do?  Well, this one is waging my own personal mutiny against the way society is telling my daughter the way she should look, act, think and behave.  I'm committing to talking to her daily, letting her know that I'm here for her no matter what, monitoring what she is exposed, and reminding her of how blessed she is to be made in God's image.

Will you join me in my mutiny for our children??

Overwhelmed

Tomorrow is another Monday....some days I hate Mondays.  I didn't get my Sunday dose of the light at FUMC this week and it was bleak and dreary here.  While I did get to spend some wonderful family game time at lunch as the afternoon has progressed the blahs have set it - don't shake your head, I'm sure you've had them too.

My kids have been asking a lot about why we don't have presents yet under the tree and why we can't do this and why we can't do that.  And my answer usually is that we can spend our money on every little thing because then we won't have it to do the things we really want to - and my kids are usually really good about it and the subject drops. 

But it is this time of year - when there aren't yet presents under the tree, and the lights on the top of the tree don't work, and the washer machine decided to die tonight with a load soaking in it, and it all just seems a little overwhelming at times.  Has that ever happened to you?

I think it especially hits home with me at the moment because I have heard the words or allusion to suicide too much for my liking recently.  From people not realizing the impact of their words, to the lost's testimony at church, to a family friend that recently decided that it was just too much to take anymore - there is something about this time of the year, especially that people can forget about the others needing just a little kindness and love in their lives.

This past summer, I was really struggling with some things personally.  I mean had a hard time keeping it together at work for quite some time struggling and crying when I got home.   My daughter especially would begin checking on me in the rear view mirror if I got to quiet to make sure Mommy was okay.  It most definitely was not a good place to be. 

That is when this journey of living well really began to take hold and start.  I knew that if I wanted to get out of this pit that I was in I had to make some changes.  So I started looking  at my foods, getting active in sports with the kids, leaning more back on my husband (as if I should have never not been leaning on him in the first place, but you know some times you have to be strong enough to recognize you need to lean on someone else from time to time), working in the garden, and making sure that I was talking to God - a lot. 

Some where around the remembering to talk to God, because once again I for some silly reason thought I was strong enough to handle things ALL on my own....silly girl, time things started to click back into place for me.   I remember some one asking me if I listened to KLove - no silly lady that is the gospel junk that my granny used to listen too and I can't take more than 2 minutes (was my response in my head!) - and I said no.  She told me I needed to get some Mandisa in my life and jam all the way to work to get my spirit in the right place.  Man-di-who?  I must admit, sadly I didn't know that name, however I have since come to love her and am so blessed by the charge I'm given in the mornings by listening to Air One (NOT your Granny's gospel music - I promise). 

There are numerous studies that suggest our bodies and our emotions adjust to those around you.  So I for one, who has dealt with some blues before, hope that you will smile a little brighter at the stranger beside you, say a kind word to the person you pass in the hall, encourage you to surround yourself with positivity when you are feeling down, blast out some Mandisa and know that you don't have to be overwhelmed - you can be an Overcomer!

Sharing the Love

Filling others cups...
 

Have you ever had to spend the holidays away from home?  And maybe not just away from home because you were visiting friends and family, but in a hospital or alone with no one around.  If you haven't, count your very many blessings because as we all sit down this Thanksgiving remember there are those who can't - for whatever reason.

Now this isn't a blog to make you feel bad about how blessed you have been - I don't believe in that crap.  But what it is about is our journey to try and (see "try" still slips into my vocabulary) make the world around us a little better place and how we are doing that.

Most Thanksgivings when we are home we will go and deliver meals with the local Meals On Wheels program.  We started doing this when Rose was a year old and it has been an excellent way to get out into our community - for her to see how fortunate we are. 

I will never forget a couple of years ago we delivered to an older man, who lived in a decent part of town (some of the homes we delivered to were missing floors, shacks, etc.).  He was so apologetic for getting his meal - see his wife was in a nursing home and he spent most of his time there with her and just didn't have the gumption to cook when he got home.  He said it wasn't that he couldn't afford to pay the meals, he just wanted some home cooking without having to sit by himself at a restaurant. 

See that's the thing that I love about Meals on Wheels and many of the other opportunities to support others.  There isn't a question of the why behind the need - they are just there to fill it - and I think that is how we are all called to treat others.

We weren't going to be home this Thanksgiving so we helped prepare a meal for a friend instead.  She and her family will be spending Thanksgiving and the day after, which happens to be her birthday, with her sister and brother-in-law at the cancer hospital while he fights for his life.  To keep his and the rest of the family's spirits up some of our friends have gotten together to provide them a little taste of the holiday.  I dropped my contribution - and some pretty plates to hopefully make the hospital room a little more homey - off at the organizer's home on the way out of town.

So this holiday as you are enjoying your time with loved ones - take a moment and remember those that may not be as fortunate.  And if you can take time to do something about it - even if it just make your smile a little brighter as you pass the gravy!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Not Just Another Birthday

Every year we are given a special day to reflect back on the years before and the years to come - our birthday.

Looking back over the years, there have been great ones.......and some I would prefer to forget.  But today has probably been the best so far and I am blessed to look back over the years and reflect on how lucky I have been with the life that I have been blessed with.

I don't remember a lot from my 8th (or many of my other younger birthdays) birthday except a very inexpensive present that one friend gave.  It was a handmade card with two dollar bills through out it at the appropriate places and it said "Two (with a bill here), Four (and another one here), Six (and another one here.... you get the picture right?), Eight (last one!), Who do we appreciate?  Amber!" 

To this day, I have never forgotten this card and have shared the importance of heartfelt gifts with my kids.  When Rose, my daughter who is in first grade, got upset one day because "nobody likes handmade cards Mom!" I told her of this one that I remembered all of this time.  Now, one of her and Bugs favorite things to do is to make cards for others - in fact, I just got mine for today!

Over the past year, we have been making changes in our home - one of which is being more involved in serving those and the world around us.  Regardless of how hard we may struggle at times, I am so fortunate to have a job, amazing children, a wonderful husband, a home, a family that is extremely supportive and involved - things that so many others don't have.  So today, to celebrate this day and all that have been given to me - we chose to spend time with loved ones and give back to others.

We got to spend this morning with Bodie's family, then celebrate at church (of which Bugs announced my birthday during children's moments to the ENTIRE church - followed by my age....I'm thinking he should not be allowed anywhere near a microphone any more!), and then the whole family helped load and pack boxes for Operation Christmas Child.  It was overwhelming to be able to give back to others one this day when I have been given so much. 

We will be spending time with friends and my family this evening to finish the day out.  Spending the day with the ones I love, reflecting on the years many blessings I have received, and giving to others to fill some one else's cup - it's not just another birthday - it's the best birthday ever!

"Now I know, I know
It's not just another birthday
'Cause I'm here, she's here
And look how far we've come
Since you've called me, saw me
Held me and freed me
Thank you, Lord, for another birthday
And we'll be fine
We'll be fine"

Doing not Trying....

Some one has come into my life in the past year from whom I am learning a lot of things.  We disagree at times but I am learning and continuing to speak my mind with them.

One of their pet peeves is to say "I'm trying" - the usually response is "Well, if you're trying your not doing."

As someone who has always been a person who would try anything - from difficult assignments, to new adventures, to different foods - I have realized how much I would say "I'm trying to" has become of my vocabulary.  And with that how much room it leaves me to be non-committal about something or give up before I start.

What do you mean, you ask?  (Cause I'll be honest when I was first told that trying was not doing - I was a little offended.  What do you mean I'm not trying?!  I'm trying my hardest....)  But think about it - how many times have you said "I'm trying to lose weight" or "I'm trying to budget better" or whatever?  Instead of committing to something and going full-on to meet that goal?

"I'm trying to" implies that there is wiggle room to come out of whatever activity if anything doesn't work out.  Previously I've been "trying" to lose weight for years with mediocre to no success, but in the past 3 months I decided "I am losing weight" and in making that commitment have lost about 15 pounds. 

So Bodie, my husband, and I are starting down a new venture in life - and we aren't trying - we are committed to doing it.  We are improving the health of our family, reducing our debt, helping others, making the world a better place - building our own living well for our lives.

I'm not giving myself that wiggle room any more - I'm doing not trying....how about you?