My daughter is six, let me start of by saying that first. She has seen Miley's Wrecking Ball, although not that I wasn't happy about it, and has definitely started showing her developing attitude a lot more lately. My grandmother has noticed it. Rose and I have talked about it. My neighbor and I were consoling ourselves this morning because we are seeing the same thing in both of our little girls - snarkiness, extreme sassiness (I'll be honest I'm okay with a little sassy and feel like it is my motherly duty to develop it correctly. I'm always in awe of other women who are able to reply at the right time with just the right amount of sass and not come off snarky or naggy - I'm sooooooo not that woman!), whininess, moodiness and just plain attitude.
I asked Rose where she is learning to act like this (I'm not delusional, she's in public schools and I know that I can't protect her all of the time - but I do think that it is my job as a mother to continually open the lines of communication and redirect behaviors that are not appropriate) - her response was the older kids at school. Not terribly surprised, about the answer I expected - monkey see, monkey do - right?
And I completely understand that she is learning to develop her own personality, I just don't want it to be one that is so snarky.
So I know that I can't control what she sees at school (okay, I guess I could spend all my time with her at school and monitor everything and everyone she interacts with.......but that might be a little crazy and I would never get any work done!), and we really try to monitor what she watches at home - so I'm left with what do I do?
Quite honestly, I don't think this is just a problem that we are experiencing in our house, or just across the street. I think this is reflective of a bigger societal problem in how we still see women as a society and the impact it is having on our young girls.
I came across this video that really hit home, Media views on Women in 2013. I'm not that old (in comparing myself to a generation that had to walk to school for miles in the sleet and snow with only one pair of shoes for the whole year - you've heard that story right?) but I do remember when you didn't see ads for Viagra or tampons on TV and the Huxtables were the family that you wanted to go home to (I was watching the episode where Claire took Theo to Family Court in their living room for lying the other day, I hope I can be half the mother I think she was!). The role models that young people looked up to generally remained true role models - not like Miley, Brittney, Lindsay, and Amanda have become. I mean when Madonna first started singing and making videos those were risqué right (I only got to watch them by sneaking at friends house.....hmmmm probably how Rose saw Wrecking Ball, I guess)? However she continued to push the envelope about bigger issues in society, not just focusing on herself.
I have to admit, I definitely wasn't as sensitive to all of this until I started watching my daughter reflect some of the behaviors she was witnessing - being worried about her body image (she thinks she needs to go on a diet to be beautiful and SHE'S SIX!!! For those that know me well, dieting is not a common word in our house - being healthy, yes, but not dieting!), wanting to wear make-up to be pretty (I've tried to tell her since she was born how pretty she is, inside and out, every single day of her life), all in addition to the attitude.
Soooo what the heck does a mother do? Well, this one is waging my own personal mutiny against the way society is telling my daughter the way she should look, act, think and behave. I'm committing to talking to her daily, letting her know that I'm here for her no matter what, monitoring what she is exposed, and reminding her of how blessed she is to be made in God's image.
Will you join me in my mutiny for our children??
I am Kentucky girl through and through and am raising my family to see all the great things in the world around us. From teaching them to cook, can with vegetables raised in our garden with my grandmother, eating and living healthy, serving others with our church, fishing in the pond at my husband’s family farm, traveling the back roads - we are learning to live well. Hopefully by sharing a little of what our family has found and is doing to live well, you will find something to help yours!
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